As an adult I don’t necessarily need permission to do things that are right for me. Still, sometimes it feels like I have the weight of other people’s expectations on my shoulders and I bow to those expectations like the obedient child I was raised to be.
The thing is…living under the weight of someone else’s expectations is a really quick way to crush your soul. I’m listening to a really great book right now called “I will teach you to be rich” and in it the author talks about building YOUR rich life. Not someone else’s version of what your life should look like. What do YOU actually want? And are those values reflected in how you’re currently living?
I had a massive wake up call over my birthday in December and I realized that I had been striving (and failing I might add) to live a life that was approved of by people I no longer needed or wanted validation from.
What was I doing? Why was I striving to live by these rules I didn’t even want to have in my life? Did I even know what I wanted at all?
These aren’t the easiest questions to ask yourself but I do believe they’re important. I can’t base the things that are right for me on someone else’s expectations of what’s right for me. And you shouldn’t either.
When I was drowning in debt ten years ago after going through cancer it got to a point where there was just no way we were going to catch up. We chose to file a consumer proposal (which is essentially bankruptcy) and we received a LOT of judgment for it. I was told that my husband should work five or more jobs to pay back the debt because it was our responsibility.
And yes, it was our responsibility but we also incurred that debt while cancer was growing in my body at the rate of a pregnancy. They didn’t have to live in my shoes or rent space in my head. They weren’t the ones having panic attacks every single time the phone rang. They meant well but at the end of the day it was my life and I had to decide what I could live with. So do you friend.
No one can make your decisions for you and no one else has to live with the consequences but you.
You really can go your own way. Start a business or let one go. Choose a new path, walk away from a toxic friendship, go no contact with someone for your sanity. This is YOUR life and no one else gets to (or has to) live it. So why are we making our decisions based on someone else’s opinion?
Last I checked their opinions aren’t going to pay my bills, educate and protect my children, and keep my marriage passionate. So I think I’ll decide what my own dream life looks like from now on and stop giving that power away to others. Because like I said, at the end of the day the opinion I need to care about most (other than Jesus’) is my own.
Meggan Larson is an award winning author (best selling on Amazon), course creator, wife, mom, and adoptee. She currently lives in Ottawa, Canada with her husband and three children. She helps women tell their beautiful, powerful, and authentic stories. You can connect with her at megganlarson.ca or email her at email@example.com